Happiness is in not listening

Do you like to live your life your way?

Then you must absolutely cultivate the art of not listening. Don’t be fooled by all these lectures on listening that will improve your life by making you more efficient and bringing in more value to your existence. It is absolute baloney. Listening never did any good to anybody. It only brings duties and commitments and who wants any of this?

Look at this guy hogging the road or even that pedestrian walking merrily in the centre of the road. Both have been taught and told, I am sure often enough, to be a little more “giving” and considerate; if not for others at least for their own selves. From their behavior you would believe that they both acquired white hairs by standing under the sun. Then coming down to the immediate present, no amount of honking seems to affect them. Are they deaf? No sir, nothing of this. They are tax payers so they have rights and the roads are for public use; although I would keep my fingers crossed when making this statement.

The art of not listening has some techniques that can be mastered by anybody.

First obviously is to go deaf. Refuse to allow a certain level of higher frequencies to titillate your nerves in the ear. What will the other guy do? Hang you by the nearest tree?! There is really no point in being considerate and raising our blood-pressure levels, is there?

Second, learn to convert every exchange into an argument. Put the other guy in the position to having to clarify. Any stupid remark will do as long as it is made as an accusation. Keep this up till the poor other guy gives up and rearranges his life to cut you out. The problem is that this technique is used mainly in marriages where cutting out is not so simple. It would be better then to learn to grin and bear it.

Third, treat every question as an incriminating statement and answer accordingly with a lot of anguish and hurt in your voice and demeanor. Your words should show it by saying immediately in response something like: you are always shouting at me. The idea would be clearly to put the other guy on the defensive; the subject then getting conveniently brushed under the carpet. The other guy will eventually realize that he has been had but what can he really do except grind his teeth?

Fourth, be the nice guy. Grunt a yes sounding something and almost certainly do your own thing unless it is blatantly against your good health policy.

Fifth, is by changing the activity. Let us say you are watching the TV and your partner starts speaking to you. Immediately start fluffing the pillow with a loud noise then say sorry and then ask him to get you a glass of water. This does require a little presence of mind but practice makes perfect.

Sixth, just lose your temper. This will act as rumble-strips and slow the other fellow down and even embarrass him. Take advantage of the situation and accuse him of everything you can think of. It will not only take care of the present situation but make him downright scared for even daring to open his mouth in the future.

Happiness is in not listening.

- PK is a student of life, design consultant, into international marketing, communications and languages